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Nick de Cusa

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/arti…in_page_id=1770

Jeremy Clarkson for Prime Minister!

By LEO MCKINSTRY - More by this author » Last updated at 09:07am on 3rd January 2008

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Some of his views would make Genghis Khan blush, but as one of our most outspoken TV personalities, Jeremy Clarkson has built up a devoted following who tune in to Top Gear not only for the cars, but for his scabrous wit.

Now, more than 28,000 have signed a Downing Street petition for Clarkson to be declared Prime Minister.

Here, in the spirit of fun - and with apologies for bad taste and to the man himself - LEO McKINSTRY imagines Clarkson's manifesto.

1 ENCOURAGE GLOBAL WARMING

Britons will be encouraged, through discounts and tax relief, to drive 4x4s, Jaguars and BMWs. Not only will this give a valuable boost to our oil industry, but it will encourage climate change. And what's not to like about global warming? Holland gets flooded and we get California's weather. That's what I call a win/win situation.

2 ABOLISH CRICKET

How can we take seriously a sport that stops for afternoon tea and whose followers wear striped blazers and bray like horses? Let's face it, we have been rubbish at cricket for years, so we should put an end to the endless cycle of misery in summer. My Government will bring back proper sports, such as jousting and bear-baiting.

Clarkson for Prime Minister? 28,0000 people think so

3 END THE SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP

The only thing special about our link with the U.S. is the amount of grovelling we do. My Government will stop acting as if Britain is the 51st state of the union. The last time I went across the Atlantic, I found people so stupid I'm convinced their nearest living relative must be a gherkin. They're the sort of people who can't read a road sign without moving their lips. Plus their cars are about as sexy as Ann Widdecombe's armpit.

4 BAN HEALTH & SAFETY

The safety bureaucrats are the abominable no-men, constantly dreaming up new reasons to abolish fun and hobble business. With their silly regulations, they have done more damage to British industry than the Luftwaffe. They are the human equivalent of a Lada. But at least you could drive a Lada off a cliff.

5 DEAL WITH YOUTH CRIME

It's true that some juvenile oiks come from broken homes where parents have all the child-rearing skills of King Herod. But let's stop making excuses. These delinquents have been creating mayhem for too long. They need to be taught some fear. Looking down the barrel of a sub-machine gun in a prison camp on the Outer Hebrides might do the trick.

6 REMOVE SPEED CAMERAS

Thanks to mass immigration, urban traffic moves at the speed of an arthritic snail. But still motorists are bullied by the rash of speed cameras, which are nothing more than a revenue-raising device. Serious criminals do not have to put up with this level of surveillance. My Government will tear down cameras and raise the motorway speed limit to 150mph.

7 TEACH BRITISH HISTORY

Pupils are taught to feel ashamed of their past, our national flag is treated as an embarrassment, our heritage as a source of shame. My Government would end this cultural cringe. The only problem with the Empire is that it wasn't big enough and didn't last long enough.

8 GET OUT OF IRAQ

Our involvement in Iraq has been the most misguided foreign adventure since Napoleon said: "I hear Moscow's nice at this time of year." As Prime Minister, I will bring back every British soldier and let the Iraqis get on with the national pastime of killing each other. And I'll put His Tonyness on trial for crimes against humanity and the Armed Services.

9 BRING BACK THE STOCKS

Despite Big Brother, there isn't enough humiliation in public life for those who deserve it. The medieval authorities had the right idea. The Beckhams will be the first in the stocks, followed by the chairman of the Health & Safety Executive.

10 END RECYCLING HELL

Putting out the rubbish used to be a simple task. Thanks to the tyrants of green officialdom, it has been turned into a nightmare. Placing the wrong garbage in the wrong bin is regarded as worse than mugging a granny. My Government will restore sanity by providing everyone with a bin the size of Bernard Manning, which will be emptied twice a week.

11 BANISHWALES

In my new-look Britain, Wales will be forced to go independent. Any country that has produced Neil Kinnock, Max Boyce and Charlotte Church does not deserve to remain in the UK.

12 AND EAST ANGLIA

That boring lump of flatness stretching out into the North Sea will have no place in Clarkson's Britain either. Then all those tiresome luvvies with second homes in Norfolk and Suffolk can have the thrill of going to a foreign country without flying to Tuscany.

13 BAN DIESEL CARS

A diesel has all the excitement of a vegan dinner party. It might be good for you, but so is cod liver oil. The same goes for lowemission cars such as the Toyota Prius. Feeling self-righteous as you tootle around at 10mph may earn you Brownie points with the knit-your-own-lentil brigade, but to the rest of the world, you look like a sanctimonious idiot.

14 END HUMAN RIGHTS

Under my Government, the rights of ordinary British citizens will have a higher priority than those of Islamic terrorists, Somalian gang-leaders and knife-wielding thugs. Homosexual pornography for deranged serial killers will not be regarded as a human right, nor will multi-million pound fees for hypocritical Leftwing lawyers milking the system.

15 KICK OUT BUREAUCRATS

The former U.S. President Ronald Reagan once said that the state was like a baby's alimentary canal: endless appetite at one end and utter irresponsibility at the other. My Government will reduce taxes by cracking down on all pen-sucking, paper-pushing jobsworths, outreach counsellors and parking enforcers, equality officers and drugs co-ordinators. Those who resist will be fed very, very slowly into their own office shredders.

16 FREEDOM TO SMOKE

In my Britain, smoking will no longer be seen as a crime against humanity. In fact, cigarettes will be encouraged in order to reduce the burden on the NHS and state pensions. After all, smokers perform a valuable public services by paying extortionate taxation, then generally failing to reach old age. The Marlboro Man has done more for our economy than any Chancellor.

17 BRITISH INDEPENDENCE

We fought the last war for our independence, and now we're under the heel of the unelected eurocrats of Brussels. Under my rule, Britain will withdraw from the EU, so we will no longer be governed by a bunch of sausage-eating Germans, French cheese-eating surrender monkeys and kebab-swallowing Greeks.

18 NO MORE COOL BRITANNIA

Cool is just a fancy word for pretentious or unpopular. The Clarkson Downing Street will not be interested in appearing "cool". Instead, my team will be encouraged to listen to Seventies rock music and wear figure-hugging blue jeans, no matter what their age.

19 CRACKDOWN ON CYCLISTS

Cycling is just as dreary as recycling and twice as pointless. My Government will come down heavily on this sanctimonious activity by introducing new taxes on Lycra, plastic helmets and the bicycles themselves. Altogether now: "Four wheels good, two wheels bad."

20 PUBLIC EXECUTIONS

Only those without any romantic sense of the richness of British history could pretend not to miss the public hangings at Newgate. The restoration of judicial killings before a cheering crowd would not only bring back some much needed colour to British life, but would also give the doomed prisoner the satisfaction of a brief burst of celebrity.

MY CABINET

CHANCELLOR: Ken Dodd - very sound on taxation.

MINISTER OF TRANSPORT: Richard Hammond - a man with the right sense of priorities when it comes to modes of travel.

HOME SECRETARY: Henry Cooper - a knockout for criminals.

CABINET SECRETARY: Heidi Klum - no Cabinet meeting would ever be boring with the presence of the supermodel.

MINISTER FOR FOOD & DRINK: Keith Floyd - no more puritan lectures about alcohol units.

FOREIGN SECRETARY: Boris Johnson - diplomacy is his middle name.

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Clarkson est la seule voix qui s'élève contre le sauvetage des constructeurs automobiles, avec une argumentation libérale simple:

Jay Leno for, Jeremy Clarkson against Detroit 3 bailout

Posted Dec 5th 2008 3:06PM by John Neff

It's the battle of the big chins! (Who are we kidding, Leno would win that fight against anyone.) Two gentlemen who stand as giants in automotive culture have finally weighed in with their opinions on whether or not the Detroit 3 should be rescued by the U.S. government. Jay Leno is all for it, citing the loss of this country's manufacturing infrastructure as the most compelling reason to save the automakers. He also cites a number of points that have been mentioned here and elsewhere, including the disparity between helping white collar workers on Wall St. while hanging blue collar workers on auto assembly production lines out to dry, the huge number of suppliers and businesses that depend on U.S. automakers, and the fact that domestic products have become competitive with the world's best in the last few years and it would be a shame to "get so close to the finish line and not win the race."

Jeremy Clarkson, on the other hand, disagrees. Though the top host of Top Gear says that we may be encountering the "end of days" for the auto industry, he fears the repercussions of letting another industry off the hook. Clarkson claims that he's against state intervention while at the same time acknowledges the immensity of Ford and GM (he calls Chrysler "two bit") and the number of people who depend on them for employment. Despite the ramifications of letting the Detroit 3 slip into oblivion, he leaves us with, "Where does it end?" We'll find out soon enough. Thanks for the tip, James (May?)!

http://www.autoblog.com/2008/12/05/jay-len…roit-3-bailout/

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Un peu craingnos son programme quand même, je trouve qu'il est beaucoup trop dur avec le cricket.

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Clarkson est la seule voix qui s'élève contre le sauvetage des constructeurs automobiles, avec une argumentation libérale simple:

http://www.autoblog.com/2008/12/05/jay-len…roit-3-bailout/

Clarkson avait fait un documentaire sur la mort de l'industrie automobile britannique (

) dans lequel il essaye de trouver les responsables de la débâcle.

Une des principales raisons avancée était le bailout de l'industrie auto par le gouvernement british et la nationalisation des sociétés.

Pas étonnant donc qu'il soit contre le bailout de l'industrie auto US.

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14 END HUMAN RIGHTS

Under my Government, the rights of ordinary British citizens will have a higher priority than those of Islamic terrorists, Somalian gang-leaders and knife-wielding thugs. Homosexual pornography for deranged serial killers will not be regarded as a human right, nor will multi-million pound fees for hypocritical Leftwing lawyers milking the system.

Default Asian values > Human rights

Malaysia Places High Importance On UDHR

KUALA LUMPUR, Dec 9 (Bernama) -- Malaysia has always placed high importance on the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR), particularly on its status as widely subscribing to a body of principles which establishes universal human rights norms and standards.

Wisma Putra in a statement from Putrajaya today said that Kuala Lumpur was pleased to join its partners in the domestic and international spheres in emphasising the declaration's enduring relevance.

However, it said that in celebrating the birth of UDHR, "we should also bear in mind that the declaration is not the sole authority in terms of governing the system of human rights in Malaysia".

"We should also take into account the Asian values in our multi-ethnic society. Our Asian-ness should not be left out in place of Western ideals. It is time that the West gives due regards and high esteem to the Asian values," said the statement, released in conjunction with the 60th anniversary of the UDHR tomorrow.

The world celebrates Human Rights Day on Dec 10, every year since 1948.

This year's celebrations are more significant as it marks the 60th anniversary of UDHR.

-- BERNAMA

http://www.bernama.com/bernama/v5/ne….php?id=377303

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:icon_up: Ce type est génial !

Je sais pas si vous avez déjà vu son émission Top Gear ? Genre de délire mécanique politiquement incorrect avec grosse cylindrées. Le tout avec un humour cynique particulièrement british. C'est culte.

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Guest jabial
buy-our-crap.png

:icon_up:

Y a une bannière? Faudrait une bannière. Moi je la colle en accueil de liborg si elle est assez bonne.

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:icon_up:

Y a une bannière? Faudrait une bannière. Moi je la colle en accueil de liborg si elle est assez bonne.

Je peux proposer ceci :

post-451-1228997278_thumb.jpg

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Elle est tellement bien que je l'ai mis en poster temporaire sur la porte de ma chambre.

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Guest jabial

Faudrait faire l'équivalent pour les banques : "On vous a fait payer des frais élevés. On a investi votre argent dans des placements risqués parce que ça rapportait gros. Quand ça rapportait, on a distribué des bénéfices records à nos actionnaires. Maintenant que ça foire, on impute les pertes à vos impôts. Merci de votre générosité. Cette année, pour noël, on boira le champagne à 1000€ la bouteille à votre santé".

- BNP, bonjour.

- Bonjour, je suis Pierre Durand, je vous appelle parce que vous êtes à découvert.

- Pierre Durand, Pierre Durand… Non monsieur, vous n'êtes plus à découvert depuis 3 mois déjà. Vous nous appelez pour nous prévenir que nous devons anticiper un découvert?

- Non madame, je vous appelle parce que votre banque est à découvert de 30 milliards d'euros. Qu'est-ce que vous comptez faire? Vous savez que nous ne pouvons pas vous faire crédit éternellement.

Allez quoi, la BAF, chaipas moi, faut le faire! :icon_up:

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On doit pouvoir faire une affiche, effectivement.

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