Aller au contenu

Etude De Marché Chez Macdonell Douglass

foxxbat

Par foxxbat
dans La Taverne

Messages recommandés

foxxbat

foxxbat

Posté
Posté

A QUICK QUESTION ABOUT YOUR NEW MILITARY AIRCRAFT PURCHASE

This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas

Website by an employee who obviously has a sense of humor. The

company, of course, does not have a sense of humor, and made the

web department take it down immediately (for once, the 'IMPORTANT'

note at the end is worth a read too…):

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In

order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to

fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey

questions is not required, but the information will help us to

develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1.

[–] Mr.

[–] Mrs.

[–] Ms.

[–] Miss

[–] Lt.

[–] Gen.

[–] Comrade

[–] Classified

[–] Other

First Name: ……………………………………..

Initial: ……..

Last Name ……………………………………..

Password: ………………………… (max. 8 char)

Code Name: ……………………………………..

Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ………………………

2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?

[–] F-14 Tomcat

[–] F-15 Eagle

[–] F-16 Falcon

[–] F-117A Stealth

[–] Classified

3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 20…./…./….

4. Serial Number: ………………………………………..

5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:

[–] Received as gift / aid package

[–] Catalogue / showroom

[–] Independent arms broker

[–] Mail order

[–] Discount store

[–] Government surplus

[–] Classified

6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas

product you have just purchased:

[–] Heard loud noise, looked up

[–] Store display

[–] Espionage

[–] Family member works for KGB

[–] Recommended by friend / relative / ally

[–] Political lobbying by manufacturer

[–] Was attacked by one

7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your

decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

[–] Style / appearance

[–] Speed / maneuverability

[–] Price / value

[–] Comfort / convenience

[–] Kickback / bribe

[–] Recommended by salesperson

[–] McDonnell Douglas reputation

[–] Advanced Weapons Systems

[–] Backroom politics

[–] Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please indicate the location (s) where this product will be used:

[–] North America

[–] Iraq

[–] South America

[–] Iraq

[–] Aircraft carrier

[–] Iraq

[–] Europe

[–] Iraq

[–] Middle East (not Iraq)

[–] Iraq

[–] Africa

[–] Iraq

[–] Asia / Far East

[–] Iraq

[–] Misc. Third World countries

[–] Iraq

[–] Classified

[–] Iraq

9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to

purchase in the near future:

[–] Color TV

[–] VCR

[–] ICBM

[–] Killer Satellite

[–] CD Player

[–] Air-to-Air Missiles

[–] Space Shuttle

[–] Home Computer

[–] Nuclear Weapon

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?

[–] Communist / Socialist

[–] Terrorist

[–] Crazed

[–] Neutral

[–] Democratic

[–] Dictatorship

[–] Corrupt

[–] Primitive / Tribal

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

[–] Deficit spending

[–] Cash

[–] Suitcases of cocaine

[–] Oil revenues

[–] Personal cheque

[–] Credit card

[–] Ransom money

[–] Traveler's cheque

12. Your occupation:

[–] Homemaker

[–] Sales / marketing

[–] Revolutionary

[–] Clerical

[–] Mercenary

[–] General Secretary

[–] Tyrant

[–] Middle management

[–] Eccentric billionaire

[–] Defence Minister / General

[–] Retired

[–] Student

13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the

interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy

participating on a regular basis:

[–] Golf

[–] Boating / sailing

[–] Sabotage

[–] Running / jogging

[–] Propaganda / misinformation

[–] Destabilization / overthrow

[–] Default on loans

[–] Gardening

[–] Crafts

[–] Black market / smuggling

[–] Collectibles purchased at www.BornInTheUSSR.com

[–] Watching sports on TV

[–] Wines

[–] Interrogation / torture

[–] Household pets

[–] Crushing rebellions

[–] Espionage / reconnaissance

[–] Fashion clothing

[–] Border disputes

[–] Mutually Assured Destruction

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your

answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell

Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to

receive mailings and special offers from other companies,

governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to

win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION

Marketing Department

Military Aerospace Division

IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual

addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is

confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons

with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious

beliefs.

If you re not the intended recipient, any dissemination,

distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either

explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas.

Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context

somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or

no grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the

transmission of this email, although the kelpie next door is living

on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming

fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no

hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just

ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft.

However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and

your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets.

If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and

egg whites, whisk and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.

Thanks…

Archivé

Ce sujet est désormais archivé et ne peut plus recevoir de nouvelles réponses.

Aller sur la liste des sujets
×
×
  • Créer...