Images fun et leurs interminables commentaires

[Eriul]

[Nirvana]

 

Je viens de tomber la dessus, je suis plie en quatre 

 

 

Original ad: 

I am a 18 year old looking for a summer job. it is hard for me to find work and I just want a job so I can afford a car for college next summer. I can clean, babysit, answer phones, pretty much whatever as long as it pays!!

From Mike Anderson to ***********@***********.org

Hey, 

I saw your ad looking for work and I think I have a job for you! I am looking for an assistant on my farm for the summer. It will involve working outdoors. Let me know if you are interested. 

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me

Hi Mike! I am interested in your job! I love animals and used to ride horses so a farm would be great! what kind of work would I be doing, and where is your farm located? it needs to be close to ******** so my parents can drop me off and pick meup

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********

Stephanie,

It is very close to **********. I'm glad to hear you are familiar with horses, because you will be primarily working with horses.

My farm gets all the old horses that other farms don't need anymore, and they are starting to take up a lot of room in my stable, which I want to turn into a garage for my new truck. Therefore, the horses need to go. As my assistant, you will be in charge of killing the horses and dumping them in the lake behind my farm. 

I used to have a captive bolt pistol (cattle gun) that I used to put them down, but it broke when I tried to use it to tap a keg. You'll probably have to use my 12-gauge shotgun to put them down. Sometimes they don't die right away when you shoot them, and will start freaking out. You just have to stay calm and keep shooting. Don't worry, I'll show you how to use the shotgun if you aren't familiar with one.

You then need to use my chainsaw to cut the horses into smaller parts that you can carry down to the lake. It can get a little messy, so I suggest wearing some clothes that you don't care about, or some clothes that the horse blood would compliment. 

The lake isn't mine, it is my neighbor's. He gets kind of angry when he sees me dumping dead horses in his lake, so you have to make sure he isn't around when you do it. I have some cinderblocks you can use to weigh the horses down so he won't see them. 

I have a lot of horses, and each horse takes about an hour and a half to dispose of, so you should have plenty of work. The job will pay $15 an hour. When can you start? 

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me

omg that is HORRIBLE! That is truely awful and sick!! Why cant you just give the poor horses away? sorry but I am not helping you slaughter horses!!!

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********

Stephanie,

I'm sorry if you are a bit surprised, but this is how farms work. You can't give away old horses, you have to kill them. I thought about it, and if you don't want to use the chainsaw to cut up the horses, you can just use my truck to drag them down to the lake. Do you have your license or permit? If not, this could be good driving practice for you. You don't want to pass up on this great job opportunity.

Mike

From Stephanie ******* to Me

No that is not how farms work you are just SICK! I am NOT interested

From Mike Anderson to Stephanie *********

Stephanie you are going to regret this some day when you try to get a real job. I think this would look great on your resume.

 

 

 

Ce n'est ni une image ni fun

[Mathieu_D]

Ha bah ça m'a fait rire.

[Gio]

[sans]

Déjà posté, et je le répète : do want !

[Gio]

[Librekom]

Ce n'est ni une image ni fun

 

Etant l'initiateur de ce fil, je m'auto proclame seul autorité compétante à juger de ce qui relève d'une image ou non sur ce fil (na !)

Pour le coté fun, ben c'est un peu subjectif sur les bords.

 

Et puis pour le coup c'est objectivelment fun, ça vient du blog d'un mec qui fait des canulars par mails en répondant à des petites annonces.

Voici son blog > http://dontevenreply.com

 

Tiens en voilà une autre qui m'a bien fait marrer.

 

Original ad:

**** Disguisable weapons wanted ****

Wanted: hidden blades, belt buckle knives, cane swords, etc.....

Offering: cash, items for barter

From Me to **********@***********.org:

Hey,

I saw your ad looking for concealable/disguised weapons. I have several fine-crafted items you may be interested in. Respond if you are interested and I will send you pictures and prices.

Thanks,

Mike

From Jeff ****** to Me:

I am. lets see what you got.

From Me to Jeff ******:

Jeff,

Here you go:

Looks like a normal spoon, right?

Wrong. It is actually a deadly 2.5" half-smooth, half-serrated knife with tactical grip. One minute you are enjoying a bowl of cereal, and the next you are fighting off attackers with this deadly and disguised weapon.

I am asking $50 for the blade. Let me know if you want to stop by and take a look at it.

Mike

From Jeff ****** to Me:

that is stupid as hell and looks like crap. unless you have anything better to offer, dont waste my time.

From Me to Jeff ******:

Jeff,

I am sorry you feel that way about the spoon blade. I do have some other weapons that I think you will feel differently about.

Mike

From Jeff ****** to Me:

fine. but if it is another knife duct taped to a spoon then you can fuck off.

From Me to Jeff ******:

Jeff,

Thank you for re-considering. Here are three quality disguised weapons that I think you will love:

At first glance, this looks like a normal party cup. However, if you look close enough, you will see that it is really a fully automatic Glock 18C. You will be able to pour your enemies a nice warm cup of lead with this fine purchase. Asking $900 for the gun/cup combo.

Still thirsty for justice? Try this badass M16A2 disguised as a 24-pack of soda. The box has two finely crafted holes on each side to allow for any kind of optics (not included) that you wish to attach. This weapon is only for sale if you have a Class III permit.

This cleverly disguised weapon may look like a tissue box, but is actually a Benelli M3 12 gauge shotgun disguised as a tissue box. The ultra-soft quilted tissues serve as a comfortable grip on the pump-action shotgun. Also, if you find yourself sneezing during the heat of combat, you will have a handy tissue box ready for action. Asking $1500 for the weapon. Additional tissue boxes are an extra $5 per box.

Let me know if you want any of these items.

Thanks,

Mike

From Jeff ****** to Me:

youre a fucking dumbass, shitbrained, asswipe, retarded dipshit. you prob walk around with that shit too you dumb mother fucker. I hope you get hit by a car. fuck off, eat shit, and die.

[ModernGuy]

Dans le même genre tu as ce blog: http://www.27bslash6.com/

Ca en laisse froid certains. Mii je trouve ça hilarant.

[poney]

Le coup du fish tank et du fax m'a fait hurler de rire dans mon bureau, au point de rameuter mes voisins

[Barem]

L'image des armes sensées discrètes m'a bien fait rire par contre les réponses de l'un des interlocuteurs de la conversation me font penser qu'une fois que les gens sont sur internet, beaucoup se permettent d'être vulgaire au possible avec leur interlocuteur.

[Librekom]

Le coup du fish tank et du fax m'a fait hurler de rire dans mon bureau, au point de rameuter mes voisins

 

Pour moi la meilleur c'est celle-ci

 

Stubborn Shovel Seller

Posted at: 2012-08-29 06:27:13 | 1459 comments | Add Comment

 

Original ad:

Pole hedge trimmer for sale - Homelite electric hedge trimmer. Great condition. $50 OBO. Email me at russ*******@gmail.com.

 

From Me to Russ *******:

Hey Russ,

That's a really nice shovel you have in the picture. Is it for sale?

Mike

From Russ ******* to Me:

Sorry guy. Only selling the hedge trimmer.

From Me to Russ *******:

I'll give you $10 for the shovel.

From Russ ******* to Me:

Cant you read? The shovel isnt for sale.

From Me to Russ *******:

You drive a hard bargain on the shovel. I'll give you $15 for it, and that is my final offer.

From Russ ******* to Me:

Here is my final offer: shut the hell up and leave me alone!

========================================================

Later, from another email account...

========================================================

From Me to Russ *******:

Hey I'm emailing you about the shovel. Your asking price of $10 sounds fair to me. And with the free extention cord, that is a steal. I'll take it!

From Russ ******* to Me:

What are you on about? The shovel isn't for sale.

From Me to Russ *******:

Excuse me? That's not what your ad says.

From Russ ******* to Me:

My ad says nothing about the shovel. I'm selling the hedge trimmer, not the shovel. Look again. Nowhere is a shovel mentioned.

From Me to Russ *******:

Quit dicking me around. This ad says you are selling the shovel!

I can assure you I am not Jewish so you can stop pretending you aren't selling the shovel.

From Russ ******* to Me:

Oh my god...I swear I didnt put that up. Somebody is messing with me!

From Russ ******* to Me:

Can you send me the link to that ad so I can have them take it down?

From Me to Russ *******:

Sorry, I can't find the link anymore. My wife needed to use the computer so I had to delete my browsing history because I was looking at porn earlier. It was somewhere in the stuff for sale section, if I'm not mistaken...so does this mean I can't buy your shovel?

========================================================

From another email account...

========================================================

From Me to Russ *******:

Dear Anti-Semite douchebag,

I got a bone to pick with you. I came across your ad in my search for a new shovel and it seemed like a great deal. Until I read your disgusting comment about not selling the shovel to Jewish people. How the hell do you think that is acceptable in this day and age? What does it matter what religion someone is for you to sell them a shovel? This is absolutely despicable and an outrage to the Jewish community. You make me sick.

Sincerely NOT buying your shovel of hatred,

Mordecai Goldstein

From Russ ******* to Me:

I don't have a problem with jews at all! Someone else put that ad up to mess with me and I cant find where it is! Can you send me the link to the ad please??

From Me to Russ *******:

Why don't you shovel your Nazi bullshit to someone else? This "Jew" isn't buying it!

========================================================

He finally decided to email my original account:

========================================================

From Russ ******* to Me:

Look you little prick I know you put that fucking ad up and you need to take it the fuck down RIGHT NOW. I'm not selling the fucking shovel GET OVER IT and quit being immature you son of a bitch.

From Me to Russ *******:

I'm sorry, I thought I was doing you a favor. I wanted you to see how many great offers you could get if you decided to sell the shovel.

From Russ ******* to Me:

I'M NOT SELLING THE FUCKING SHOVEL LET IT GO! Tell me this asshole if you were doing a favor then why did you put that shit about the jews in there???

From Me to Russ *******:

I detected some strong anti-Semitic undertones in our initial conversation...I just assumed you were an anti-Semite. My apologies.

From Russ ******* to Me:

TAKE THE AD DOWN

========================================================

I emailed him one last time, from another account.

========================================================

From Me to Russ *******:

Good afternoon!

I saw your ad for the shovel for sale. I'm more interested in the axe you have in that picture. Are you selling the axe? I'll give you $20 cash for it.

- Dave

[Malky]

Celle là me rappelle quelque chose hummmmmm mais quoi ?

 

 

Original ad: 

WANTED - Microwave

I am looking for a used microwave. WHITE ONLY

 

From Me to *********@************.org:

 

I have a LG microwave that I want to sell for $30. I am aware that your ad said whites only, but I am an African American. I sincerely hope that this won't be a problem for you, and we can put race issues aside and just do business.

 

Thank you,

Jamal

 

From Amy ****** to Me:

 

I am so sorry that you misread my ad. I meant the microwave should be white, because it would match my kitchen.

 

Amy

 

From Me to Amy ******:

 

Oh, so because I am black, you think that I can't read? It really is amazing that the world we live in is still so racist. I'm sorry, but your insults have left me feeling sick. I don't think I can sell my microwave to a bigot. 

 

Sincerely offended,

Jamal

 

From Amy ****** to Me:

 

I wasn't suggesting that you couldn't read. I'm not racist. If you read my whole email you would see that the ad was looking for a white microwave, not a white person. I changed the ad to avoid any confusion.

 

Amy

 

From Me to Amy ******:

 

So now you think that because I am black, I am too lazy to read your whole e-mails. Your racism is overwhelming. You will never get my microwave from me. I will, however, sell you a burning cross for your next klan meeting. Does $20 for the cross sound fair?

 

From Amy ****** to Me:

 

I can't write anything without you being offended! I give up!

 

From Me to Amy ******:

 

So you don't want the microwave?

 

From Amy ****** to Me:

 

Will you still sell it to me?

 

From Me to Amy ******:

 

I would never sell anything to a racist. 

 

From Amy ****** to Me:

 

Ugh I'm done with you.

 

[Librekom]

[Malky]

Mais lol, ce type est un génie

 

 

Original ad: 

litter of 6 kittens up for adoption! they are all 3 weeks old and are looking for a good home. contact if interested.

From Mike Hunt to *********@***********.org 

Hi, 

I am interested in taking all six kittens off of your hands. How much do you want for them? 

Mike 

From Shannon ******* to Me 

Mike, 

Are you going to take care of all of these kittens? I want to make sure they all find a good home, and was expecting to sell them one at a time. Are you able to house all six of them? 

From Mike Hunt to Shannon ******* 

Shannon, 

To be honest, I own a pet Bengal Tiger and he is on a strict diet of cats. I usually feed him one cat every couple of days, so this litter should hold him over for a while. Don't worry though, I'll take good care of the kittens until I feed them to him. 

Mike 



From Shannon ******* to Me 

That is horrible! You will not get a single kitten from me. I really hope you are not serious. 

From Mike Hunt to Shannon ******* 

Shannon, 

I was kidding. I seriously need all six kittens though. Disregard anything I said about a tiger. 

From Shannon ******* to Me 

NO.

 

[Hayek's plosive]

[Nofreedom]

La symbolisation de l'autorité et du courage par une paire de couille, n'est-ce pas du masculinisme pro-paternaliste? ^^

[Chitah]

Quelle bande de crétins, comment n'ont-ils pas anticipé le tollé prévisible?

[poney]

En tout cas, on ne pourra plus dire que les zescrolos sont des gauchistes féministes après un truc aussi nul.

[Mathieu_D]

Quelle bande de crétins, comment n'ont-ils pas anticipé le tollé prévisible?

 

En fait apparemment ils l'ont anticipé et cette campagne de com' n'a pas été lancée officiellement, mais là, ça fuite.

[sans]

Hi hi, moi je la trouve bien ^^.

 

 

La symbolisation de l'autorité et du courage par une paire de couille, n'est-ce pas du masculinisme pro-paternaliste? ^^

En tout cas, on ne pourra plus dire que les zescrolos sont des gauchistes féministes après un truc aussi nul.

 

Ouep, bon présage.

[poney]

En fait apparemment ils l'ont anticipé et cette campagne de com' n'a pas été lancée officiellement, mais là, ça fuite.

 

C'est encore plus drôle. Ca doit vouloir dire qu'il y en a un qui chie dans la colle depuis l'intérieur.

[Lancelot]

Outre la symbolique raz-les-pâquerettes je trouve le message peu clair : je dirais qu'ils sont pro-hollande et qu'ils se félicitent de son bilan (par exemple faire passer le mariage homo), mais alors pourquoi ils sous-entendent qu'il n'a pas de couilles ?

[Hayek's plosive]

C'est encore plus drôle. Ca doit vouloir dire qu'il y en a un qui chie dans la colle depuis l'intérieur.

 

un?

 

Dis donc t'es restrictif.

[poney]

Mon côté masculiniste m'a trompé à l'insu de mon plein gré.

[Jaimepasmonpseudo]

Bon c'est officiel, il va falloir que j'arrête de lire ce topic au bureau :D 

[Gio]

 

(Con de poisson...)

[Gio]

Outre la symbolique raz-les-pâquerettes je trouve le message peu clair : je dirais qu'ils sont pro-hollande et qu'ils se félicitent de son bilan (par exemple faire passer le mariage homo), mais alors pourquoi ils sous-entendent qu'il n'a pas de couilles ?

Un tweet de Maître Eolas : Avec le recul, on se rend compte que La Manif Pour Tous, c'est des gros nuls: ce sont les seuls qui n'ont pas réussi à faire reculer le gvt.

[Chitah]

Pas faux sur ce coup eolas

[PABerryer]

Il ne se rend pas compte que LMPT a largement contribué au pourrissement de ce gouvernement

[F. mas]

Il ne se rend surtout pas compte d'une chose ; pour faire plier le gouvernement dans ce pays, il faut soit faire partie de la cour, soit brûler des bagnoles. L'opposition calme et dans les clous, ça ne marche pas. Ce pays ne connaît pas la notion d'"état de droit".